Jun. 15th, 2013

Proctoring

Jun. 15th, 2013 12:39 pm
mur: (Default)
Here I am, at the university again, proctoring the incoming freshmen as they inadvertently decide their academic fate in terms of placing into a college-level math course. This will make or break some students; some will place into the pre-college level math course and a little piece of their self-esteem will die and they will question whether or not they want to remain a management major based on the fact that their math ability sucks on the Saturday afternoon of June 15th, when summer is still fresh in the air like a newly sprayed fragrance just glistening on the nape of your neck. Yet here I am, and here they are- part worried and part bored and only half listening. It's nothing that can be avoided. New experiences and "testing" always works the nerves. I can't blame them. My nerves were shot too when I was in their shoes. It's just something they'll never understand until they're at least twenty-five and working in a similar environment. Or maybe I'm wrong. It's quite probable.

Really the shocking news of the day is hearing that one of my colleagues is getting married to a former colleague because her green card is causing her some issues. I am shocked and yet, not really. All of these people are getting married. They are taking the plunge. Makes me question my relationship in terms of its seriousness, though Dan always avoids those kinds of conversations. It's not that I want to rush into something like marriage, but I question whether or not I'd ever want to marry, or particularly marry him. Sometimes I think I over-think things, and people tell me I am crazy for questioning our relationship, but I can't ignore my feelings, which rise and fall like the ebb and flow of a troubled shoreline. Sometimes I think too much about it, and I am thinking too much about it at the moment because there is nothing else to do while I sit and watch students test. Their faces are wrought with thought and I am pleased that most, if not all, of them are following the end of the test directions: Print results, turn off computer, return unused paper and pencils, recycle used scrap paper, grab results and math brochure and we will see you at Orientation!

On some levels I think I would be a great instructor. I like to have things planned out to the tee and I am, quite frankly, very direct with how I want things done. I also like when things go smoothly. These traits are both good and bad, but I'll take the good for now and deal with the bad part later.

All in all, I hope everyone is enjoying this lovely Saturday. After testing, I have some chicken issues to attend to. Perhaps a later update will be appropriate.

Best,

-MUR

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Mur

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